whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
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Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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