i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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