remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm at about main and main street
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
