Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
