This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My cat gives me a boner
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
