he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We are all done wearing pants today
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
