i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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