Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
