i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
