I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
