...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
