I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
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I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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