There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
