How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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