the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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