I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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