We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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