u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
