Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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