if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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