I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
