no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
