where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
