before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
