Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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