I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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