the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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