So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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