im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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