we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
