forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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