The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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