RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
