Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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