i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
