Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
