Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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