Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize