beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
