he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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