mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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