so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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