I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
