So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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