Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
