Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
