i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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