I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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