i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
