Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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