I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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