Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
