It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize