I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
