i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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