ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
