I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you mean i was at the winter classic?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
