so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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