she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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