After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You took a bar mat shot.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
