do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it's like heaven, but drunker
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
