i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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