Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
