Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
