and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
