hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
