i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
