Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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