I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
