maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
